HerStory Untold (IWD 2026 Special): I changed my wardrobe twice”, Vinti on menopause, brain fog, and staying professional

When life is already full, the body still finds a way to speak

Vinti remembers that season as one where everything looked stable on the surface, because work was moving at pace, home life was busy in the way midlife often is, and her children were at critical stages that demanded attention and emotional presence. Somewhere in the middle of all that motion, she began noticing physical and emotional changes that felt unfamiliar, and what made it unsettling was not only the discomfort itself, but the fact that she could not name it.

“I started having physical and emotional symptoms, but I couldn’t connect the dots,” she said.

Without the words, the mind fills in its own explanation, and that explanation often turns inward. She found herself feeling overwhelmed and unsure whether she was overreacting, or simply not coping well enough, even though she was still trying to stay “professional” and functional.

The wardrobe changes that made it real

One of the first things that forced her to admit something was changing was unexpectedly practical. She had to change her wardrobe twice in a short time because of weight changes, something that had never happened to her before. It was visible, undeniable, and quietly unsettling, especially when she was still expected to operate at full speed across work and home.

At the same time, she could not adjust her schedule. There was no convenient space to slow down and figure out what was happening, and she did not yet have the vocabulary to explain any of it to others. So she adapted silently, made the necessary changes, and kept going.

Brain fog in meetings and the hidden labour of coping

As the changes continued, Vinti noticed that work itself started to feel different. Her brain felt foggy, deadlines became harder to keep, and meetings became a daily challenge. She began building “special systems” to stay on top of responsibilities, because that was the only way she could maintain her pace.

“I had to create special systems every day just to stay on top of my responsibilities,” she said. What weighed on her was the repetition. She would build a system, rely on it, then watch it stop working, and that would force her to start over with a new method. Lack of sleep made it worse. Sometimes, a word or thought would disappear in the moment, and even if it returned later, the experience of losing it felt disorienting.

There were also moments where she surprised herself. She did not collapse. She continued delivering. She continued showing up.

“Often, I was amazed at myself, how I managed to keep going,” she said.

That amazement carried two emotions at once: pride that she stayed afloat, and the quiet fatigue of having to do so much alone.

The silence that made it heavier

For a long time, no one at work knew what she was carrying. She also did not fully understand it herself, which meant she could not name it, explain it, or ask for support in a way that felt legitimate. That gap matters, because when you cannot name what is happening, you start believing the problem is you.

“There was no one to tell me, ‘This is part of menopause, and it’s okay,’” she said. She now sees how powerful that simple sentence would have been. Validation does not fix everything, but it steadies you. It helps you stop blaming yourself long enough to find a path forward.

The conversation that connected the dots

Clarity arrived through a casual conversation with friends who were also doctors. It was not a big workplace moment or a formal intervention. It was simply the first time she said out loud what she had been feeling, and hearing it reflected back helped her make sense of the pattern.

“It was only during a casual conversation with friends who were also doctors that I finally said out loud what I had been feeling,” she said. In that moment, the experiences that had felt random began to fit into a recognisable transition. She did not suddenly feel perfect, but she did feel calmer, because she could finally interpret what was happening without spiralling into self-blame.

From there, staying professional became less about pretending and more about self-compassion, patience, and learning how to advocate for her health. She also began to see leadership differently, not as perfection, but as adaptability and grace under unexpected strain.

Being an EAP professional did not make her immune

Vinti supports others through her work in EAP and mental wellness, so it surprised her that she did not anticipate how difficult this stage could feel personally. She is trained to notice patterns in others, to ask careful questions, and to guide people toward resources. Yet in her own life, the early uncertainty still hit hard.

“At first, I didn’t fully understand what was happening, and that uncertainty was difficult,” she said. Once she started connecting the dots, she did what many professionals do when faced with uncertainty. She researched, reflected, and sought support. She was fortunate to have doctor friends who guided her through her symptoms and helped her navigate decisions.

Her journey also reinforced something she knows professionally: every woman’s experience is unique, and information alone is not enough. The right support still matters, and support often begins with the right question.

The quiet change she made for other women

Her personal experience changed the way she practises. Vinti began incorporating questions about perimenopause or menopause into her intake process, because she realised how many women might be struggling without recognising what is happening.

“I even started incorporating questions about perimenopause or menopause into my intake process,” she shared. It is a small shift, but a meaningful one, because it creates a doorway to clarity. For someone who has been blaming herself, that doorway can be the beginning of relief.

Where support really came from

When asked whether she had support at work, Vinti was candid. She did not have much workplace support to navigate what she was going through. What carried her was her network outside the office: doctor friends and close friends who listened, reassured her, and held space for her experience.

“Their guidance, reassurance, and willingness to listen made a tremendous difference,” she said. She also knows she will continue relying on this community in the years to come. Her experience highlights a gap many women recognise: when support exists only outside work, women still carry the hardest parts of transition privately, while professional expectations remain unchanged.

How success changed in midlife

Midlife has reshaped Vinti’s values. She makes an effort now to acknowledge her likes and dislikes. She no longer takes her health for granted. The conclusion she arrived at is simple and firm.

“If I am healthy, everything else will fall in place,” she said. Moving ahead, she is also looking for opportunities where she can support a bigger cause than what she has done until now, because questions of purpose and legacy have become more central in this season of life.

#GiveToGain and the kind of giving that lasts

In Vinti’s work, giving is core. She sees support as something practical, not performative. Sometimes it is listening fully. Sometimes it is helping someone access resources. Sometimes it is making time for a one-to-one conversation that helps a person feel less alone.

“What makes support powerful is the intention behind it,” she said.

She has seen how even small acts of allyship can create a ripple effect, building resilience and trust in both personal and professional settings.

It matters at work

Vinti’s story matters because many women experience midlife changes before they have the language to describe them, and when there is no language, there is often silence. Silence leads to invisible adjustments: rebuilding routines, creating coping systems, changing wardrobes, and carrying brain fog through meetings without explanation.

Her message to workplaces is direct. Women need extra support during transitional phases, and pregnancy and midlife are two of the biggest ones. She wants workplaces to recognise that it is not a woman’s fault that she is going through these challenges, and she believes that a little handholding, consideration, and care can help her navigate this season with dignity. She also believes women often come out stronger and more determined after difficult periods, but strength should not be the only plan.

Support can be simple and still meaningful: better check-ins, credible pathways to information, and workplaces that normalise these conversations early so women do not spend months thinking they are failing.

The next chapter

Vinti has embarked on a new professional journey and she is learning new things every day. Her motto is to keep going and keep learning. She believes her life experience will help her in the coming years, and she hopes that by sharing her story, more women will recognise themselves earlier, feel less alone, and find the words sooner than she did.

“There was no one to tell me, ‘This is part of menopause, and it’s okay.' Health is my only wealth.”

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HerStory Untold: Midlife@Work Edition celebrates women navigating midlife with clarity, courage, and a commitment to rewriting the rules in boardrooms, bedrooms, and beyond!

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Disclaimers:  This article shares an individual’s journey and is not universal advice or experience. Content is for informational purposes only. Consult a healthcare professional for medical advice. We aim for accuracy but cannot guarantee it. Reliance on any information here is at your own risk. External links are not endorsed by us. This is not sponsored. Reader discretion is advised for topics on health and wellness.