‘I was already facing one of the darkest periods of my life’: How this 38-year-old mother navigated early menopause and found strength in the journey.
- Team Surety
- Mar 24
- 6 min read
For many women, menopause occurs in their late 40s or early 50s, but for Zizie, it began much earlier.
When Zizie was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure (POF) at 38, it was a life-altering moment. This condition, also known as primary ovarian insufficiency (POI), occurs when the ovaries cease normal function before age 40, leading to reduced estrogen production and infertility.
The emotional impact of such a diagnosis can be profound. Women often experience feelings of shock, confusion, and devastation upon learning they have POI. Beyond the immediate emotional response, there are significant physical health considerations. Low estrogen levels associated with POI increase the risk of osteoporosis, cardiovascular diseases, and endocrine disorders.
Zizie's journey reflects these challenges. The unexpected onset of menopause symptoms, coupled with the implications for her long-term health, required her to adapt and seek support. Her story underscores the importance of awareness, early diagnosis, and comprehensive care for women facing similar situations.
A Diagnosis That Changed Everything
When Zizie received her diagnosis, she was caught off guard. "When my gynaecologist told me I had premature ovarian failure, I didn't fully grasp what that meant," she recalls. Suddenly, she was dealing with mood swings, fatigue, and feelings of unexplained sadness.
This unexpected news left her with no choice but to educate herself about the changes happening in her body.
"I was already facing one of the darkest periods of my life when my health started to decline. It was a wake-up call," she shares.
For Zizie, this was the moment she realized the importance of becoming more aware of her body, emotions, and reactions to stress.
Addressing Menopause with Awareness at Work
Menopause is still a largely overlooked issue in many workplaces, and Zizie experienced this firsthand.
"Most people do not talk about it, let alone understand it," she explains. She recalls a day at work when she suddenly experienced a surge of heat and a severe headache, which made her feel easily irritated. "I was on edge with my coworkers, and I could feel the tension rising. Thankfully, because I had become more aware of my body's signals, I was able to leave early."
Although her workplace lacked formal menopause support structures, Zizie's awareness of her own symptoms helped her advocate for herself. "We need workplaces to recognize menopause-related challenges and create a supportive, inclusive environment for all women," she emphasizes.
Redefining Beauty, Aging, and Productivity
As a woman in her 40s navigating menopause, Zizie felt the weight of society's pressure to maintain youth, beauty. and productivity. But she has chosen to challenge these expectations.
"There's this constant push to 'age gracefully,' but in many ways, it means trying to deny our age altogether," Zizie observes. Rather than chasing conventional beauty standards, Zizie has chosen to embrace how she truly feels: strong, confident, and healthy. She believes that this shift in focus has allowed her to redefine what beauty and aging mean to her.
"The world tells us that "midlife is a time of decline," she adds. "But I realized that productivity doesn't define my worth. Success s not about meeting everyone else's standards; it's about finding balance, peace, and living life on my own terms."
"Midlife can be a time of renewal - not just survival!"
Why Menopause Conversations Matter
Although discussions around menopause are gradually becoming more common, much of the conversation still remains shrouded in silence. Zizie believes that breaking this silence is essential.
"Menopause is often dismissed as just another 'women's issue,'" she says. "But when we begin to talk about it - at work, with our families, and in our communities - it stops being something to hide and becomes something we can all relate to. Normalizing the conversation around menopause can help reduce the stigma and allow women to feel supported."
Zizie also stresses the importance of involving men in the discussion.
"If more men - partners, colleagues, and sons, understood menopause, it would create more supportive environments for women," she adds.
Lessons in Health and Self-Care
Looking back, Zizie wishes she had paid more attention to self-care earlier in life.
"We tend to wear so many hats as women that we forget to listen to our bodies," she admits. "If I could go back, I'd take more breaks, practice self-compassion, and prioritize my well-being."
Her understanding of wellness has evolved over time. "It's not just about staying fit. It's about feeling good from the inside out. I now focus on my nutrition, movement, and rest to stay healthy. It's never too late to start taking care of yourself," she shares.
Finding Purpose and Legacy in Midlife
Midlife has given Zizie a new lens through which she views her life.
"Aging reminds us that life is short. I've learned to cherish the people I love, to let go of petty conflicts, and to focus on what truly brings me peace," she says.
In addition, Zizie is dedicated to teaching her children important lessons about life.
"I always tell them: Control what you can - your emotions, your actions. And let go of what you can't - other people's opinions or behaviors. That's the key to peace of mind."
Emotional Shifts: Growth Through Change
Menopause is often accompanied by emotional shifts, and Zizie has felt the impact. "Mood swings have definitely been a challenge, especially in my relationships," she says. But she has learned to approach these emotional fluctuations with more patience.
"I now see my emotional ups and downs as opportunities for growth. I don't view them as setbacks anymore," she explains. "With the support of reading, support groups, and lifestyle changes, I've learned to navigate my emotions in a healthier way. Educating myself has made all the difference."
Cultivating Self-Love and Renewed Passion
During this transition, Zizie also faced another significant life change - her divorce.
The same year she was diagnosed with POF, her marriage ended, leaving her feeling devastated. "I felt like I had lost a part of myself," she recalls. "I felt incomplete as a woman, as a wife. I had lost not just physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy as well."
Looking back, she wishes she had the knowledge she has now. "If I had understood menopause better, I might have been able to share what I was going through with my partner, and maybe we could have navigated it differently," she admits.
Now, however, she views this period of change as a time of freedom and self-discovery.
"I feel more like myself than ever before. My co-parenting relationships is in a much better place, and I've reclaimed my happiness."
How Connections Foster Resilience
A strong support system has been invaluable to Zizie. As a single mother of three teenagers, she knows how important it is to lean on others. "There are days when it feels like an emotional rollercoaster," she says, "but I've learned to be open with my kids. I let them know when I'm exhausted or irritable, and that it's not about them."
She also finds comfort in talking to friends and family members who are going through similar experiences. "Sharing stories with my sister, aunts, and friends who are navigating perimenopause makes me feel less alone. Talking it out is healing," she adds.
Perimenopause: Another Teenage Period?
Perimenopause is often compared to a second puberty, and Zizie agrees.
"Just like teenage years, this phase comes with mood swings, hormonal fluctuations, and self-discovery. But this time, I'm more equipped," she says. "I know what brings me peace, and I make choices that reflect that."
The Need for Menopause Healthcare
Zizie believes there's room for improvement in how healthcare providers approach menopausal care.
"Doctors can't know what you're going through unless you speak up," she advises. "But we also need more proactive screening for menopause symptoms, just like we have mammograms," she mentions. Early detection and regular hormone checks could help women prepare for what's coming.
The Next Chapter: Strength, Joy, and New Possibilities
As Zizie looks toward the future, she's focused on living life to its fullest.
"I see myself as a healthy, active mother and maybe even a grandmother! I want to travel, stay fit, and enjoy life with friends."
Her weight-loss journey has also been a priority. "I lost 6kg working with a dietitian. It's not just about the way I look. It's about my long-term health, like preventing diabetes, which runs in my family. I want to stay mobile and independent for as long as possible," she affirms.
Zizie draws inspiration from her mother, who at 73 continues to live an active, joyful life."My mum still goes out, meets friends, and enjoys life, despite her health challenges. If I can do the same at her age, I'll be beyond grateful."
Through her journey, Zizie proves that midlife isn't about endings - it's about embracing the opportunity to reinvent yourself - one filled with wisdom, strength, and self-love.
Join the HerStory Untold Community
Zizie's story is one of courage, resilience, and growth—a journey that reminds us that midlife is an opportunity for renewal, introspection, and deeper connection.
You are not alone.
Join her and Surety in redefining the menopause experience—one story, one lesson, one empowered woman at a time. It is where every voice is heard, every story matters, and together, we are rewriting the narrative of perimenopause, menopause and midlife!
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